Colin's Adventure in Iraq

Hurry Up and Wait
The announcement letting us know about the flight delay read as follows:

We will leave Kuwait [three days later than planned].
It’s the Army.
Be flexible.
You are still getting paid.

These bullet points exemplify underpinnings of the Army’s mantra, “hurry up and wait.” I first heard this phrase when I arrived (on time) at my induction site at 6:00 AM for a 4:30 PM flight to basic training. Consistent with the Army’s cattle drive mentality, it was no surprise we flew South West Airlines.

The announcement board could have read:
We are delayed because someone forgot to rebook our flight.
All screw ups - above the platoon level – get a free pass because, well, it’s the Army.
All Soldiers whose lives are affected by the screw up need to take it in stride (see above).
Though we are wasting your time, you continue to receive your meager compensation.

Returning home has had its other, typical, examples of wasted time and poor planning:
Our first “time hack” of the day was supposed to be 0815. At 0715 we were awakened and told we had to turn in ammunition immediately.

The change of command ceremony starts at 0900, but we had to be out there at 0815, so we can start rehearsal at 0830. What do we minions have to practice? Nothing really: we go to the position of attention when the commander calls “attention”, to “at ease” when they call “at ease”, applaud when the colonel claps, stir our tea when told to stir our tea…

We were told to have our bags packed and be ready to go at 1600 to catch our flight out of Baghdad. I’ve learned that waiting until the last minute pays off so, I got everything buttoned up around 1550. At 1605, we were told we weren’t leaving until the next day, so we had to unpack again. The next day, we had to be outside at 0900 for a 20 minute bus ride for a flight that was supposed to take off at 1225; it left at 1730.

These examples demonstrate the biggest problem the Army has with its Soldiers: it does not value their time. A Soldier is paid on a monthly – not an hourly - basis, and like babysitters, fishermen, newspaper delivery boys, Soldiers are also exempt from minimum wage and overtime laws. Having one’s time wasted is an integral component of the Army experience because there is no consequence to it.

When we have a company formation, the First Sergeant may want the platoons ready 15 minutes early, and in order for that to happen the platoon sergeants may want the squads “up” five minutes before that, and the squad leader would like to see every one moving to the door five minutes before that. So, a Soldier could be standing around for 20 to 25 minutes. Would this happen in the civilian world? Not often: it’s too expensive. Labor is often the highest cost in a company, so workers not working means money lost. Not only can Soldiers be worked as much as the Army requires, in an hourly comparison, Soldiers would still be low paid for a 40 hour week; some even qualify for food stamps and WIC.

There is no focus on efficiency or conservation of effort. The Fair Labor Standards Act – from which Soldiers are exempt – can be beneficial for employers as it forces them to value their employee’s time. When labor is a fixed cost to the employer, it leads to waste and abuse. Too often we try to reinvent the wheel and keep doing it again and again until it’s right. As one Soldier put it, “Hurry up and do it, so you can do it again because it’s wrong.”

We are told that so-and-so will happen so we must prepare. But so-and-so often doesn’t happen and we’ve wasted our time. These aren’t mission related unknowns like preparing for an enemy attack, but administrative tasks such as being issued and turning in equipment, formations, and meetings. When things don’t go as planned, we are told to “suck it up”. This is presumably because we are in the war business and in war things are always changing, so that means we should always be ready for changes. Screw ups are supposed to be good training for us. Somehow, we are supposed to thrive on them; it makes us tough. But it’s really a cover for mediocrity. In basic training, I used to ask myself, “Is it really this screwed up or are they trying to teach us something?” Well, life is full of these lessons, but in the civilian world, we try to avoid mistakes and are even rewarded for doing so.

Once, we were told that we would have to turn in our tactical vests at the end of the week, so we needed to start taking our gear off of it, so we’d be ready to hand it in on time. Let’s see, Monday, I’ll switch out the left ammo pouch, Tuesday the right one, hmmm, Wednesday I’ll switch out the field dressing. Never mind that removing any item from the vest renders it combat ineffective. As anticipated, we got to keep the vests after all.

Even though we are getting paid to stand around, most people like to be productive. Because of this, the Army retains people who aren’t productive and there is a tendency for Soldiers to get out of work whenever possible. One time we were given the task of clearing brush and about a quarter way through the job, one of the sergeants took me aside and said, “Hey Judge, you’re ****ing us.” I asked how. He said because I was working too hard – so hard that we were going to get the job done too quickly. If we worked slower, he explained, we could drag it out for a couple of days. Sounds like a union: If I lay too many bricks, I am depriving my brother worker of a livelihood.

On another occasion we were given a task to do at the armory which took a very short amount of time and we stood around for hours. The next day, the first sergeant told us that we needed to stick to the schedule: if we are allotted four hours to perform a task, we shouldn’t complete it in fifteen minutes. Boredom is the biggest complaint in the Guard, but when the complaint was expressed in the light infantry, we would IMT (individual movement technique i.e. crawl, roll, and run) across the field.

Soldiers do get time off, but it’s in bits and pieces, which can be interrupted at any time. We can sit around for hours, but no one can go to the PX or the MWR because there’s a meeting “later”. The company meeting is at 1900 the platoon meeting is at 2000 and the squad meeting is at 2100. And no one goes anywhere until the information is put out.

Medical, clothing, finance, legal services are administered by the military. And those who administer the services sometimes assume that a Soldier who needs something is wasting their time:
Has Private Snuffy filled out the paperwork properly?
Why hasn’t Private Snuffy filled out the paperwork properly?
Why is Private Snuffy wasting my time?
Where is Private Snuffy’s supervisor?
I will waste Private Snuffy’s supervisor’s time.

Often, Private Snuffy fills out the paper work in advance and has his chain of command check it. And when he goes to obtain a service, he will not go over by himself for he will be waiting all day; Private Snuffy’s team leader or squad leader will go with him.

To make management accountable, some penalty must be made. As we are capitalists, it seems that monetary compensation would be the way to go - the money going to the Soldier. Maybe in a totalitarian regime, having middle management fined, imprisoned or flogged could be an alternative.

Secretary Rumsfeld’s lighter, swifter, more powerful, more professional military is something I’d like to see to, but for operations such as this, it won’t work. We need as they say “boots on the ground”. No matter how many gizmos, we have, we need someone whose job it is to pull the concertina wire off the road to let cars thorough. If you can hang out just talking about the same thing over and over again, then the Army is for you: they need people content to stand around doing nothing for long periods of time. And despite all this, there are people who still want to serve. To you, I say, “welcome,” just make sure to bring something to read.